Flowers and Dreams

I greeted today much like any day… slightly bewildered, groaning and wondering where on earth the coffee is…

It wasn’t until I was outside, collecting my thoughts smoking and drinking my coffee that I realized I had dreamed last night that my ears were bleeding. Bleeding ears? Really Universe? That’s your clue? So I pondered it and reached out to my teacher. There were other aspects of the dream like being covered in blood and bruises, memory loss, memory gain, and the Hermit from the Tarot decided to help me out and act as a guide. I’m still not sure what all is going on in my subconscious mind or connection to Deity other than my ears hurt.

I have noticed my stomach has been acting up the last couple days so I decided to try addressing it energetically. Solar plexus, I’m keeping myself from doing something I want to do for me. I evidently have been discounting my own needs trying to keep everyone else balanced. When something finally reaches out to me, I am too busy trying to not fall of the saw-horse of life I cannot take what is offered.

Round and round it goes…. sound like anyone else?

So I pulled out my blue mandala candle and focused on blue to give voice to what it is I want to do. What is it that I need? How can we make desire, action, creation and communication cooperate with one another?

While the answer to that question is largely personal and frankly has no answer because it’s only 7am in the morning and I’m not done with my first pot of coffee.. YES I SAID POT OF COFFEE.. don’t judge…

I received a gift of FES Flower Essences it feels like forever ago. I mainly have used them to add a bit of herbal magic to my candles and encourage certain vibrations… love, energy, waking up, prosperity… etc.  However, I have never actually used them for their intended purpose. So after consulting my teacher, and some helpful information from the website I decided to add the following to my morning altar tea.

Chamomile

“This is a calming remedy especially indicated for babies, young children and animals who are challenged to retain their emotional center during times of dislocation and stress. Indications include extreme bouts of crying, irritability, hypersensitivity and moodiness. These emotional symptoms are typically accompanied by pronounced tension in the solar plexus and/or stomach, including digestive upset, flatulence or bowel disturbance and related sleep disturbance.”*

Pink Yarrow

“Pink Yarrow for heart and solar plexus trauma stemming from sympathetic absorption and related phenomena like stomachache, heart palpitations, nervous depletion or anxiety.”*

Pine

“For those who are besieged by inappropriate second-guessing or guilt, feeling that they could have done more, or should have made other decisions. They may be consumed by feelings of self-blame that they were not able to save a loved one or a pet. While these feelings are typical for anyone in a natural disaster situation, the Pine essence is indicated for those who are paralyzed by such feelings, morbidly depressed and dysfunctional.”*

Now to clarify I do not consider myself morbidly depressed, least not at the moment but I do suffer a lot from second guessing… shoulda-coudla-woulda… which is short for day late and a dollar short and no sense fucking worrying about it. I don’t know that I’d include Pine as an every day, but to give myself a slap upside the head with a clue-by-four (conveniently made of pine…) I think appropriate.  Chamomile and Pink Yarrow could quickly become a daily favorite.  I will see how it helps the digestive upsets I’ve been experiencing lately. It’s also the tail end of my period and my period is a destructive force from hell on my system.  I’m never quite sure where to being treating the physical and the metaphysical so sometimes it’s approached from the right, and sometimes the left. I do believe it all helps out the same root problem in the end.

For now I must away, Bright Blessings to you all I hope you have a lovely day!

*Flower Essence Services, Healing Flower Essences,  http://www.fesflowers.com/humanitarian-relief2.htm, Accessed and confirmed July 23, 2018
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The day after Judgment

I realized with a little help through one of my inspirations (Leonie Dawson) that really what holds me back is fear. Fear of being too far out there, too much of myself and my struggles, my caustic sense of humor and my childlike sense of wonder always at opposite sides of my own self that I find it hard to find peace between the two.

What if someone doesn’t like what I have to say?

What if I alienate people?

What I really need to focus my energy on is this. I am a sacred individual and as such, there are lessons only I will ever get to share with the world. Things I have learned, Things I have lived through. There is only one of me, with a very unique set of circumstances and genetics that have made me who and what I am.
Who will I help by being honest in such a public forum?

Who will help me spread joy in what is more and more often a miserable world filled with stupidity, ugliness and greed?

You will.

You may not know it now, you may not know it ever. However, at some point you will help me make this world a little better and I THANK YOU for it.

I remember the first time I ran across Jess Carlson online and I looked at her website, I looked at everything she does and I remember thinking. That is what I want to do!

Followed closely on the heals of that was, well shit, someone’s beat me to it.

I must say that is the source of a great deal of my inspirational and manifestation gap: Not doing something because someone has already done it.

Well, SO WHAT?!?

Jess’s story is her own, her own way of interacting with her clients is a language only she can speak. Leonie has in her own way through her Soul Biz workbook (I highly suggest it for anyone looking for inspiration for anything really)… it is a language only she can speak.

Just because these lovely people have spoken their piece, and made this success for themselves does not mean that there is no place for me. This is not corporate culture where there is no room at the top. This is inspiration, this is family, this is community and it is what I have been wanting to build for years.

So I thank you all, those who read this. Those who may read this years from now going through some archive for the early days of Skyfae.  Welcome, and thank you for coming. I hope to hear from you.