It is hard to pinpoint where to begin except for the beginning. I was born in the middle of heartache and deception. I did not know as I was growing up but the man I knew as my Father was not.
This tale started 35 years ago when a young man and woman found themselves in love and with child. Due to the youth of the young man, he fled the decisions to be made and my mother gave birth to me one misty morning in Colorado. Shortly thereafter she met a very charismatic man who swept her and her newborn child far away from family and friends. The young man who had earlier fled the scene returned a month after the birth of his daughter to find her long gone. He spent some time grieving, and building another family, letting go of that marriage and in 15 years never stopped searching for his love and their child.
My childhood years were spent in strict fear with bursts of joy usually while alone, playing with the fay or meditating on the history of the land I found myself in. The man my mother choose to spend her life with was abusive in every aspect towards her. Secluded her from friends and family, beat her, emotionally abused her all in front of me. I did not experience the full brunt of the abuse until I hit puberty, my innocence stolen in every way.
My mother left when I was age 14, she fled back to Colorado. I remained long since brainwashed that I deserved every abuse heaped at my door and should be grateful for more. I began to explore the occult and my books were found and burned. I did not however let go of the unseen. My ‘imaginary friends’ and storytelling reached epic proportions. I had a gift for plants, animals and healing.
I met a Medicine Woman when I was just opening my eyes beyond the veil of imagination to the fact that some of this could in fact be ‘real’. She gave me my first medicine bag, my name symbol and said I was adopted into her tribe. To this day I remember the symbol and nothing else, the bag was stolen.
One night in the middle of my Father’s rage something flicked in my brain and I told myself “This is the last time you will ever beat me.” I began to collect my things quietly and slowly to keep from arousing suspicion. I made my exit with a goodbye letter written to the man that raised me which said little more ‘thank you for raising me so quickly that I may walk as an adult before my time’.
I was terrified, ecstatic, worried, guilty and in love. I moved in with a man many times my years who was nice, who cared and after so many years of abuse what else could I ask for? I began working on filing for emancipation in Washington where I had lived since the age of four. Through this process I learned that the man who raised me was not my father, and that another man was. Furthermore, I found that when my mother had left me she and my biological father got back together and ultimately got married. They are still married to this day.
I also found I had 4 step siblings who had known about me as soon as they could comprehend they had another sister out there somewhere. I am only now making a connection with some of them but my path is so different and so far away that I have remained largely a solitary creature building my chosen family as I find them.
My metaphysical studies started off with Wicca in the late 90s. At that time the flavor of Wicca left a bad taste in my mouth along with many bad experiences dealing with psychic vampires and bad teachers.
I left the Wiccan path and began studying a more broad label of Pagan. Which I use to describe anything non-Christian. I now understand that for the most part the terms have switched yet again and Wicca is used to not only describe the religion began with Gardnerian Wiccan but with all faiths that have a close working relationship not only with God/esss in their many forms but with Nature. As I like to refer to it the Universe.
I began branching out more socially after a period of 5-10 years shutting down my magical self. It was to keep safe. things came, I was unstable, and still recovering from my childhood and later decisions made as a young adult. I came to know myself more of an eclectic solitary kitchen witch. If something is holy it is because I make it so. I read a lot of books, scanned a whole lot more. I then met my High Priestess Melody. We with three other women of various strengths formed a coven called Witches by the Bay based out of Everett. I studied under her, practiced under her, taught and worked with her. I made the decision after moving to south King County that the commute was too great and my transportation unreliable for me to continue being an active member of the coven. We agreed to make me a retired elder and Melody gave me her staff that was given to her by one of her teachers.
This was the baton passed to me to begin my own coven and begin teaching locally. I have since started a community but it is a loose community. There is no other officers, no one other than me to make something work or not. I have been disappointed and challenged by my expectations and reformed them. I created Will of the Way – it is a loose organization of people who share information, education and who are largely solitary. I host rituals, and they are open for all to attend. Some are well attended, some only have a few but everyone has left a positive impact on their lives.
I consistently find myself speaking, writing, and occasionally moving slightly out of sync almost like a bystander when working with Tarot or Reiki or giving advice to a friend of client. Wisdom seems to spout and feel 100% right. However, I have had no formal training in a setting I would consider formal. This is why I have looked into Woolston-Steen Theological Seminary and enrolled.
Update: In 2018 I graduated with my Bachelors degree in Wiccan Ministry.
I want the confidence of a good solid foundation, I want my attendees to feel confident in my leadership. I believe that I serve much the same way a holy man or woman would have in the days of old by offering help and coming from an education both formal and self directed seems better rounded to me.
Once I made the decision to follow my path and give into the power of the Universe and stop fighting it I got a tattoo on my back, a celtic circle design that also reminds one of a medicine wheel. There are two circles, one inner one outer. The inner one will be colored in as the elemental directions, the outer circle will be colored to represent the medicine wheel. This perfectly combines the hybridization of my own personal mix of Northern European Celtic and Norse honoring and honoring the Native American shamanistic path.
It is in the places in between that shed the most light upon the truth. -Skyfae 2018